Happy, Happy New Year

Let the fact that I am writing on the 14th of January about the " New Year" be an indication of how busy and stressed this holiday season has been. I have actually talked to quite a few people that have felt the same way. Christmas sort of snuck up on them and suddenly it was Christmas Eve and some of their traditions were left un-done. Whether it be not sending cards, trimming way down the decorating, or simply scaling the gifts way down - it seemed different for everyone. That said - it is over now and people have boxed up their holidays for another year. I, like everyone else, seem to be poised for an economic struggle and have certainly seen first hand declines in our household income, as my husband is in the construction field. It is troublesome, yes, but honestly we had a pretty slim summer - a time when we usually meet our obligations with ease and go into the thinner winter months with a small surplus. This year, we do not have that. I hear pretty consistently how bad the unemployment stats are and I have to admit I sort of get a feeling of uncertainty when I hear the gloom and doom reports. I can say there are still jobs listed in the paper - and if I can use that as a gauge - all is not lost..... yet. I wonder if the new president will be all he is hyped up to be. The answer, the end-all-be-all " fixer" etc. For me, I know what the answer is. I know that we are not put on this earth by chance or just due to the circle of life. I do believe in God and I do believe our purpose on this earth is to glorify Him. I will also say that I have not been fulfilling my purpose very well lately - actually for the past 18 months or so. It does leave an empty feeling in your soul, when you know what you need to do and yet somehow , emotionally or otherwise, you can't seem to get there. I gave myself permission to sort of weed out or confront people in my life that have been cruel, extremely taxing, or just self centered. This has ended some relationships and strengthened others. It is a little sad, because even the overall one-sided relationships have their moments when in reflection you can enjoy a good memory and sort of long for what was. I grew very tired of doing things because it was the right thing and yet feeling very unappreciated and even abused by people that claimed to love and care about me. As always, we define our relationships by what we will ( or will not ) tolerate. My moral compass had me swallowing my pride and words a lot more than I was comfortable with. It is a struggle for the Christian, to be Christ-like and yet not be a whipping post or door mat. The key for me was to be able to forgive the person for treating me unfairly, and yet freeing myself from feeling like I had to keep putting myself in the line of fire. It's okay to protect yourself with a balance of having a forgiving heart should the offender ever approach mending the relationship.
This New Year , full of promise - and yet full of potential problems, seems no different to me than any other fresh start. I am going to focus this year on ME. I want to be the best me I can be. I do believe that if you are not taking time to refresh yourself, you can't be the best in helping others. This was not an easy lesson for me. But I vow to get healthier, to get my focus back on The Lord, and to enjoy those relationships that He has put in front of me that are truly rewarding. This year, I am going to try very hard to pamper my inner self and not let the world get inside to do any long-term damage. I am not trying to sound selfish, I just think I allowed myself to get consumed too many times with things and/or people that are draining on your soul.
I want to smile and laugh more, I want to not let every little thing penetrate my every thought. I want to absorb great moments - before they are gone. Happy New Me.